Stingers
We've all been there. Our focus is elsewhere, happily occupied with people or task when out of the blue it hits. The stinger.
Now the stinger can take many forms. A comment, a why statement, a blunt rebuff, one line email or even a look. The form is usually irrelevant because its the sting we are consumed with, or worse still, overwhelmed by. Sometime stingers are referred to by their more corporate names; micro aggression, incivility, or perhaps bullying.
It hurts, so we try to understand; was this my fault?? Did I do something, say something, bring it about? It hurts, so we lay blame elsewhere to try and separate ourselves from the sting; they’re always thoughtless, what do they know? It hurts, so we blame ourselves; I’m not resilient enough, I take everything so personally.
This processing takes our time, attention and energy. Precious resource that we want to dedicate to the things that really matter to us, our teams and the people we care about.
So what if the sting didn’t require a sacrifice? Our time, energy, self esteem or positive belief in others. What if a sting… was simply stingy? How would it feel to consider that, rather than everything surrounding it?
When we're hurt our thinking can become muddy, with our quest for WHY inhibiting our objectivity. Worst case scenario, we unconsciously start to grow our own internal nettles which sting us far more and for far longer.
Hover above and consider these stingers. Look at them from different angles and hold them without judgement. How does it feel now? To hold the thing that hurt you; challenge it with compassion and a measured approach that restores your power and protects relationships… the ones with others but most importantly, the one you have with yourself.
“Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting pain and remedying it.”